what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My penis needs a shock collar
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
