My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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