Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize