I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i wish my penis had a tongue
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
