if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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