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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
