well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
