I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
