I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
