I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
