For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
