stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
