i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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