I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
