My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize