If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
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