I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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