sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
