Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
