Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
