I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
