Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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