I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
