can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
