the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
