she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
There's even glitter on my cock...
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