I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
