recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
