i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize