so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
