you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
