first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
