do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
