he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
