wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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