I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
