Dual....:-)
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
