The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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