you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
