Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
