my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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