The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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