i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
