I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
pray to the hookup gods
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
