Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
