I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
