so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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