We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
