nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I am available for nakedness
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
