This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
