Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
