dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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