This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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