Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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