I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
