Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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