Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
