hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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