There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
