her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
